Dear Mom and Dad,
If you've clicked on this page, it's most likely because your son or daughter has revealed to you that they are homosexually attracted. It's also pretty safe for me to assume that this is a site you never imagined you would need to go to for help. That's alright; please know from the outset that you are not alone! There are Christian parents the world over who are going through this exact same challenge, and doing so with tremendous amounts of faith, courage and success.
I know that homosexuality is not an isolated issue that only affects the homosexual family member. Rather, its influence is far reaching and affects the lives of immediate family members in a profound and life-altering way. The fear, frustration, hurt, anger and confusion you are feeling is completely normal and understandable.
Many family members, especially parents, go through a time of grief, no less painful than if their child had actually died. Is this an overreaction? No, I don't believe it is. In a sense, death has occurred: the death of dreams and hopes that you held close to your heart since your child came into the world.
A mother will grieve the loss of her child's wedding (at least the kind she had envisioned) and most likely the eventual joy of having children, meaning of course that there will be no grandchildren for her to love and cuddle.
And what of the rest of the family?
Siblings suffer the confusion of having believed they were of one heart with their brother or sister, or knew all there was to know about them, now only to discover that there is whole side of their life that they did not know.
As you try to assimilate this newly revealed information, you can't help but feel like a bomb has exploded in the middle of your family. How can you pick up the pieces and put them back together again? Will things ever go back to where they were? How do you proceed?
Please hear me; just because your son or daughter is attracted to the same sex is no reason why he or she can't learn to deal effectively with that challenge and live a Christ filled, rewarding, successful and happy life that you as his parent would be incredibly proud of.
There are many Christian men, myself included who come from a homosexual past and who are still attracted to the same sex from one degree to another who are happily married, have children, are successful in their chosen profession, are trustworthy friends and contribute significantly to both their community and church.
Of course, there are no guarantees in life and your son or daughter will have to follow their own path, as God lovingly nudges, guides and manoeuvres through their lives, striving to keep them close to him. But all is not lost; not even close. So, after you pick yourself up off the floor and get through this time of mourning, you need to know all is not lost, there is hope, and you can get through this.
Remember, the goal for your child should not be primarily a change in his or her sexual orientation, but rather the goal is that they become a Christian.
Some of you mourn today because your son or daughter has left God and you see no light at the end of that tunnel.
Whenever I hear these stories my heart breaks, mostly because leaving God over being same-sex attracted is so unnecessary. Most often people leave the church because they cannot reconcile having homo-erotic attractions and at the same time being a disciple of Jesus, yet being heterosexually attracted is not a pre-requisite for being a disciple, having your sins forgiven and enjoying the promise of heaven. There are many, many disciples who are attracted to the same sex and are incredibly successful Christians.
The truth for me, and I'm assuming you as a parent would feel the same way about your child, is that I would much, much rather live with same gender attractions as a saved Christian who is going to heaven, than live as a heterosexual man who is lost and going to hell.
So what if your son or daughter is not currently interested in God? I can attest that my homosexual orientation is certainly the catalyst that made me clearly see my need for God, and prayerfully it will be for your loved one as well.
Excitingly, you and your son or daughter do not need to fight this battle alone. This website has a "Members Area" for disciples who are same-sex attracted. Here, your son or daughter will find Bible studies, articles, videos and audio lessons all specifically authored for same-gender attracted Christians, along with special sections for teens and campus students, singles, women and married people. There is even a forum where people can encourage one another and not feel so isolated (a common problem that same-sex attracted disciples face.) This portion of the site is both username and password protected so that privacy and confidentiality are respected. Quite frankly, there is nothing else like it within our family of churches and hundreds of Christians of all ages from around the world have found it incredibly helpful. While this portion of the site is restricted to disciples, we do make exceptions for teens. The cost to join is only $8/month or $75/year. To learn more, click here
I hope this gives you hope and comfort as you begin this process. Strength in Weakness Ministries is an organization made up of disciples of Jesus who have been where you are right now, and we can help. As we grow, we are building a library of articles and Bible studies that are specifically written with you in mind. We also have connections with other Christian parents who have volunteered their time to dialogue with you, if you think it would be helpful. If you believe this kind of help would benefit you, please let me know and I can help make those arrangements. Click here
or contact me.
Please know, the very fact that you are reading this letter is an answer to prayer. As the founder of this ministry, let me say with all humility that we do not have all the answers, but I believe that with all of us working and journeying together, we can all be successful in learning how to show the love of Jesus to our loved ones who struggle with homosexuality in a way that is humble, respectful and compassionate.
In Brotherly Love,
Guy is not only an Evangelist in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, he is also the founder and Executive Director of Strength in Weakness Ministries.
Click Here to read Guy's testimony.
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