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MessedUp BookCover2.2

Guy's New Book "Messed Up" 

In his fourth book, Guy Hammond uses his usual comedic wit, combined with valuable practical advice on how anyone can untangle their messy lives, no matter what they’ve done, to go on and be used by God to accomplish incredible things.

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Thriving sm

Thriving Beyond the Margins

So you have the opportunity to study the Scriptures with someone who is same-sex attracted, or who identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Congratulations. What an honor! In this companion volume to Caring Beyond the Margins, Guy Hammond provides additional studies for individuals with same-sex attractions who are studying the Bible. These studies are designed, not to replace the study series used by your local church, but to complement them and build on them. The workbook has six lessons with discussion questions included.

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Finding Guy New Logo

New Documentary Coming Spring 2017.

The first trailer to the documentary "Finding Guy"
that will be released in Spring of 2017

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Latest Articles

19
Dec2016

Mi Primer Desfile de Orgullo Gay

La celebración, las carrozas, el ambiente festivo y mi corazón roto Por Guy Hammond Me encantan los desfiles; especialmente el...

16
Dec2016

Should a Christian Attend a Gay Wedding?

Should a Christian Attend a Gay Wedding?

Jon Sherwood is an Associate Minister with the Columbia Church of Christ in South Carolina. You can also find...

17
Jan2017

The Scariest Day of My Life

The Scariest Day of My Life

by Guy Hammond I would have rather doused myself in honey and sacrificed myself to a bear than talk...

29
Dec2016

My First Gay Pride Parade

My First Gay Pride Parade

The Celebration, Floats, Party Atmosphere and My Broken Heart by Guy Hammond I love parades; especially the Santa Claus parade. Always...

23
Feb2014

Why Christians Need to work on their Bedside Manner

 Why Christians Need to work on their Bedside Manner

There's nothing worse than an uncaring doctor when you are sick My father died in 1995 of cancer....

01
Oct2015

Being Radical In Christ Vs. Being A Radical Nut Job

 Being Radical In Christ Vs. Being A Radical Nut Job

You have seen them. On the news; members of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church, the independent Baptist...

23
Feb2014

"Know What NOT To Say: Part 1

"Know What NOT To Say: Part 1

How to Have Relevant Conversations with Same Sex Attracted Christians. 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us that basically, we...

04
Nov2016

A Transgender Person: Coming to YOUR Church Soon!

A Transgender Person: Coming to YOUR Church Soon!

A Transgender Person; Coming to YOUR Church Soon! By Guy Hammond If you would have told me only...

23
Feb2014

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 1

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 1

The Role of Sensitivity. Is there any male out there who has struggled with unwanted same-sex attractions who...

09
Aug2014

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 5

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 5

Assembling The Pieces. For the past four articles I have been reminding us that there is no conclusive explanation...

30
Nov2014

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 6

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 6

Does It Really Matter? Since there is no definitive explanation of how any male actually develops same-sex attractions...

26
Apr2014

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 3

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 3

The Role of Abuse. "I did not ask for this ... I did not want this ... I suffered...

23
Feb2014

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 4

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 4

The Role of Puberty. Here's an obvious fact for males: puberty dramatically changes us! If being born...

28
Mar2014

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 2

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 2

The Roles of Mothers and Fathers. Nature? Nurture? The debate about what causes same-sex attractions in...

23
Feb2014

"How to Help a Friend Part 1: How to Deal with the Initial Shock"

 "How to Help a Friend Part 1: How to Deal with the Initial Shock"

When the bombshell hits If you are reading this, it is likely that you've had a friend tell you they...

23
Feb2014

"How to Help a Friend Part 2: The First Thing You Need to Do"

"How to Help a Friend Part 2: The First Thing You Need to Do"

In our previous article we addressed the initial shock you would experience having a friend confess their same sex...

23
Feb2014

Know What TO Say: Part 2

Know What TO Say: Part 2

How to Have Relevant Conversations with Same Sex Attracted Christians It's hard to believe that...

23
Feb2014

"Is Masturbation REALLY a Sin?"

"Is Masturbation REALLY a Sin?"

Let us begin with some real, gut level honesty Since the inception of Strength in Weakness Ministries, there are...

23
Feb2014

"Rejection in the Church: Perception or Reality?"

"Rejection in the Church: Perception or Reality?"

Rejection in Jesus' Church: Perception or Reality? Hello everyone. I am a 40 year old single woman who has...

23
Feb2014

Christians Like the Rest of us: Four Myths of Homosexuality

Christians Like the Rest of us: Four Myths of Homosexuality

By Kris Boyer What does "Gay" mean to you? When you say the word "Gay" a lot of different thoughts...

23
Feb2014

"What is so Great about Homosexuality?"

"What is so Great about Homosexuality?"

By Guy Hammond Are you kidding me? For those of you who do not come from a homosexual...

23
Feb2014

"HELP! My Roommate is Gay!"

"HELP! My Roommate is Gay!"

Of all the things that could happen,...

23
Feb2014

Are YOU Same Sex Attracted and Need Help? START HERE

Are YOU Same Sex Attracted and Need Help? START HERE

Dear Brother or Sister, Did you live a homosexual life before you became a Christian? Do you still live...

23
Feb2014

"HELP! I've Been Invited to a Gay Wedding: Should I Go?"

 "HELP! I've Been Invited to a Gay Wedding: Should I Go?"

Of all the questions I am asked, this is one of the most frequent. A relative, a friend or...

23
Feb2014

"The Day I Stopped Being a Homosexual"

"The Day I Stopped Being a Homosexual"

By Guy Hammond What Is the Difference between Homosexuality and Same Gender Attraction? How my life changed in a 20...

11
Sep2015

Showing Christ's Love to Transgender People

Showing Christ's Love to Transgender People

By Brandon Redler Showing Christ's Love to Transgender People My name is Brandon Redler and it is an honor for me to...

17
Jun2016

Shooting in Orlando - What A Same Sex Attracted Christian Has to Say

Shooting in Orlando - What A Same Sex Attracted Christian Has to Say

By Guy Hammond The world has gone mad. When police stormed the Pulse Nightclub in the early hours of June...

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When the bombshell hits
 
If you are reading this, it is likely that you've had a friend tell you they are gay or same gender attracted. The first thing you need to do is take a step back from your feelings, and all the shock and confusion that you are no doubt dealing with right now, and try to see things with a different set of lenses. Breath in, breath out. It will be alright.
 
While I'm certainly no expert in the field, I was in your shoes as I was once hit with my own bombshell, when my friend confided to me that he used to be a homosexual, and was still attracted to the same sex. After the initial shock, I knew that I now needed to re-think my own positions on this subject, and help a friend maneuver his way through a difficult situation.
 
Here are some basic things you need to know
 
Even though I had plenty of opinions on the subject, I really didn't know a lot about homosexuality, or same gender attraction. However, after walking along side someone I care about these last few years, I've learned plenty that I would like to share with you, both in this article, and in others that will proceed it.  Are you ready? Alright then let's begin.
 
So you've just had a friend share with you that they are attracted to persons of their same gender, what do you do now? For starters let me quickly address some of your most immediate thoughts you may be having; this will not rub off on you, and you won't somehow catch the "gay virus." So you mean they're not attracted to me?  Sorry to burst your bubble. They may think you're good looking, but that is not the reason they have shared this intensely private information with you. I think Brad Pitt is good looking, but it doesn't mean I'm attracted to him. Persons who deal with same gender attractions are like you and I, who live with heterosexual attractions; they find some people attractive, and others not so attractive. The only difference is the attraction is directed to persons of their same gender.
 
So, your friend has shared this with you not because they are attracted to you or think you are gay, nor are they secretly hoping that you are. They have shared this deep and personal part of their lives with you, because they trust you. They consider you trustworthy, so your first response (after you get up off the floor) is to feel honoured that you are so highly admired, and respected that your friend would be willing to share this part of their lives with you.
 
Your friends reality 
 
Along with same gender attraction, comes a great deal of stigma, which is doled out by the media, unfortunately in many churches, and just society in general. You may not be worrying about or thinking some of the random thoughts I've stated so far, but know that now that "the toothpaste is out of the tube"; your friend is worried and anxious about what you are thinking and more. They are more then likely concerned that you must hate them, and you will never want to speak or see them ever again. Or, that at the very least, the friendship you have had up until this point is gone forever; that you most probably will pull back emotionally and physically.
 
Why would they think such thoughts? Well, probably because that sort of thing has happened to them before. You have the wonderful opportunity to prove what kind of friend and confidant you really are.
 
The church has not been safe for them, either
 
Persons dealing with same gender attractions know that the Church can be a harsh and challenging place to be. Let's face it; most of our churches are not safe places for people to be open about such a thing. We can preach and teach about fostering a loving and open family environment, but then destroy those relationships with careless, thoughtless and hurtful words. How often in conversation do we as men call another man who shows emotion a "Homo", or tell him to quit being so "Gay"? Our loose tongue breaks bones as Proverbs says. We force persons with same gender attractions to keep quiet lest they be made fun of, or worst yet, ostracized entirely.
 
But you have been found worthy! 
 
However, you have been found worthy. Over time you have been a friend, a listening ear and have obviously demonstrated a deep sense of loyalty as you strive to be like Jesus. These qualities have allowed your friend to consider you to be a safe and secure person, who will not shun them. I say Bravo! So few things in this life can be trusted, yet your friend feels that you are one who can be.
 
Jesus too, cared about a hurting and broken world, but then he personalized it, by actually caring for people in a way that was very real. I put before you that your friend has seen Jesus in you, and thus trusts you, and that is why they have come to you.
 
So what should you do from here?
 
So from here, the question is not "how do I help my friend" but rather, "how can I imitate the heart of Jesus as I help my friend?"
 
Paul assists us here by saying in Philippians 2:4-7: "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness."
 
Jesus (being the Son of God) could have thought of himself as mighty, powerful, and free to judge and condemn everyone He saw who was in sin, but instead his attitude was simply, "I am here to serve and love."
 
Can you serve your friend? Can you have the attitude of a servant? Being a Christian means being a servant, it means that you and I must meet the needs of those whom God has put before us. How much, or little, you know on the subject of homosexuality, or same gender attraction, is actually quite irrelevant. The technicalities on how to help someone can be learned by reading some books, and articles, and educating yourself (which I would suggest you do.) But really, when the rubber hits the road, all that really matters is that you are willing to humble yourself, and imitate the heart of Christ.  Without that, all of that "knowledge" is useless.
 
Please hear/read this next point clearly; we are offering empathy, not sympathy. People with same gender attraction are not a project that God has put before you to undertake, they are people whom God loves dearly, they are God's child, just as you are, and need to be treated with love, respect and dignity. A servant is known for their dedication, and willingness, to serve tirelessly. After all, are we not all sinners, all broken in some form or another? Do we not all need friends to walk along side us, as we all try to be more like Jesus?
 
Romans 3:22 says "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
 
Let's be honest; aren't we all the same?
 
We all have done (and do) things that are puzzling to us, much less (if you will) the acts of someone else. Know that your initial surprise, shock, and confusion, are both normal and to be expected. But now that you have arrived at this point, you have a unique and extraordinary opportunity, to be like Jesus and help your friend in an area of their life that has troubled them for years. You now have the chance to help bring healing and show what a real friend is like, instead of the unfortunate hatred, judgment and mistreatment that your friend has most probably undergone by others, who once called them "friend." You get to demonstrate what "Christ's love" looks like, rather than just talk about it. This therefore, is as much an opportunity for you to grow, and mature, in your own faith as it is for your friend. Provided that you truly dedicate yourself to really loving as Jesus did, your friend is actually helping you, just as much as you are helping them.
 
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself."
 
Remember that you have an opportunity that was brought about by your trust worthy nature. Be honoured.
 
In successive articles we will discuss various topics, such as how to inspire openness and transparency, and the necessity of verbal encouragement.
 
If you have questions you would like to ask, or have suggestions for other topics that you would like to see addressed, please contact me.
 
You are the light of this world. God has made you to shine like the stars, and this gives you the perfect opportunity to do just that.
 
 
 
 

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PO Box 20041, Orillia, Ontario L3V 7X9 Canada  (705) 259-3331

 

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Who Are We

We are a Christian organization that bridges the gap between the Christian community and the LGBTQ community through awareness, education and support.

Strength in Weakness Ministries is currently assisting Christians from hundreds of Christian congregations in countries on every continent the world over. As well, we are teaching Evangelists, Pastors, Church Leaders, Pastoral Care Workers and all Christians how to effectively counsel Christian men and women who are same gender attracted; parents, spouses and siblings how to deal with this challenge in their family relationships, and all Christ followers how to reach out to our gay neighbours for Christ through our workshops.

 

Contact Us

  Canada
Strength in Weakness Ministries
Attention: Cathy Hammond
PO Box 20041
Orillia, ON L3V 7X9
705-259-3331
 

  United States
Strength in Weakness Ministries
Attention: Cathy Hammond
2220 Meridian Blvd. Suite W6063
Minden, Nevada 89243
705-259-3331

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