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MessedUp BookCover2.2

Guy's New Book "Messed Up" 

In his fourth book, Guy Hammond uses his usual comedic wit, combined with valuable practical advice on how anyone can untangle their messy lives, no matter what they’ve done, to go on and be used by God to accomplish incredible things.

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Thriving Beyond the Margins

So you have the opportunity to study the Scriptures with someone who is same-sex attracted, or who identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Congratulations. What an honor! In this companion volume to Caring Beyond the Margins, Guy Hammond provides additional studies for individuals with same-sex attractions who are studying the Bible. These studies are designed, not to replace the study series used by your local church, but to complement them and build on them. The workbook has six lessons with discussion questions included.

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Finding Guy New Logo

New Documentary Coming Spring 2017.

The first trailer to the documentary "Finding Guy"
that will be released in Spring of 2017

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Latest Articles

19
Dec2016

Mi Primer Desfile de Orgullo Gay

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16
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Should a Christian Attend a Gay Wedding?

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Jon Sherwood is an Associate Minister with the Columbia Church of Christ in South Carolina. You can also find...

17
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The Scariest Day of My Life

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by Guy Hammond I would have rather doused myself in honey and sacrificed myself to a bear than talk...

29
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My First Gay Pride Parade

My First Gay Pride Parade

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23
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Why Christians Need to work on their Bedside Manner

 Why Christians Need to work on their Bedside Manner

There's nothing worse than an uncaring doctor when you are sick My father died in 1995 of cancer....

01
Oct2015

Being Radical In Christ Vs. Being A Radical Nut Job

 Being Radical In Christ Vs. Being A Radical Nut Job

You have seen them. On the news; members of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church, the independent Baptist...

23
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"Know What NOT To Say: Part 1

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How to Have Relevant Conversations with Same Sex Attracted Christians. 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us that basically, we...

04
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A Transgender Person: Coming to YOUR Church Soon!

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23
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What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 1

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 1

The Role of Sensitivity. Is there any male out there who has struggled with unwanted same-sex attractions who...

09
Aug2014

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 5

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Assembling The Pieces. For the past four articles I have been reminding us that there is no conclusive explanation...

30
Nov2014

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 6

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 6

Does It Really Matter? Since there is no definitive explanation of how any male actually develops same-sex attractions...

26
Apr2014

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 3

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 3

The Role of Abuse. "I did not ask for this ... I did not want this ... I suffered...

23
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What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 4

What Causes Same Sex Attractions? Part 4

The Role of Puberty. Here's an obvious fact for males: puberty dramatically changes us! If being born...

28
Mar2014

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 2

What Causes Same-Sex Attractions? Part 2

The Roles of Mothers and Fathers. Nature? Nurture? The debate about what causes same-sex attractions in...

23
Feb2014

"How to Help a Friend Part 1: How to Deal with the Initial Shock"

 "How to Help a Friend Part 1: How to Deal with the Initial Shock"

When the bombshell hits If you are reading this, it is likely that you've had a friend tell you they...

23
Feb2014

"How to Help a Friend Part 2: The First Thing You Need to Do"

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In our previous article we addressed the initial shock you would experience having a friend confess their same sex...

23
Feb2014

Know What TO Say: Part 2

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How to Have Relevant Conversations with Same Sex Attracted Christians It's hard to believe that...

23
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"Is Masturbation REALLY a Sin?"

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Let us begin with some real, gut level honesty Since the inception of Strength in Weakness Ministries, there are...

23
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"Rejection in the Church: Perception or Reality?"

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Rejection in Jesus' Church: Perception or Reality? Hello everyone. I am a 40 year old single woman who has...

23
Feb2014

Christians Like the Rest of us: Four Myths of Homosexuality

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By Kris Boyer What does "Gay" mean to you? When you say the word "Gay" a lot of different thoughts...

23
Feb2014

"What is so Great about Homosexuality?"

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"HELP! My Roommate is Gay!"

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23
Feb2014

Are YOU Same Sex Attracted and Need Help? START HERE

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Dear Brother or Sister, Did you live a homosexual life before you became a Christian? Do you still live...

23
Feb2014

"HELP! I've Been Invited to a Gay Wedding: Should I Go?"

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Of all the questions I am asked, this is one of the most frequent. A relative, a friend or...

23
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"The Day I Stopped Being a Homosexual"

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11
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Showing Christ's Love to Transgender People

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By Brandon Redler Showing Christ's Love to Transgender People My name is Brandon Redler and it is an honor for me to...

17
Jun2016

Shooting in Orlando - What A Same Sex Attracted Christian Has to Say

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By Guy Hammond The world has gone mad. When police stormed the Pulse Nightclub in the early hours of June...

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There's nothing worse than an uncaring doctor when you are sick
 
My father died in 1995 of cancer. Sadly, the the final few weeks of his life was full of pain. In fact, as I grew up, I really do not recall a day when he was not ill. He had tuberculosis in his early 20's, and as a result had a lung  removed. He suffered greatly with asthma and some other ailments, but nothing caused him more grief than his headaches.
 
Migraines; not the kind that could be taken away by over the counter drugs or by a 3 or 4 Tylenol 3's. Even more potent prescriptions like Percodan, 222's, injections of morphine and even different combinations of narcotics and barbiturates all had little effect. Constant visits to hospital emergency wards (literally almost weekly), acupuncture, massage therapy, whatever was prescribed and tried next, proved ineffective through the years. 
 
Its funny how certain things stand out to me all these years later, such as those doctors and nurses who were thoughtful, empathetic, considerate; those who had an amazing "bedside manner." But then there were the few who would have put Dr. Gregory House to shame. (You know what I mean, if you've ever watched the U.S. television series by FOX called "House.") I'll never forget these individuals because of how cold, indifferent and insensitive they were as they administered their "help."  I've never personally been ill enough to need assistance like that, and prayerfully never will. But I could see how the completely unsympathetic attitudes that some displayed hurt my dad, and made him regret that he had come for the help to begin with. Somehow even the severe pain he suffered was worth putting up with, if only to not have to be put through the indignity of his caregivers not caring.
 
Not being a doctor or nurse myself, I can't imagine how difficult their job must be. I'm sure having to assist people who are suffering all day long can make one weary. The times must come, especially after a long shift in an emergency ward, when it becomes very difficult to keep feeling the pain of others in such a way that you could continue to be empathetic in every interaction. But to that to the person who is ill, who is feeling alone, afraid, vulnerable and is unsure of what is going to happen, the "bedside manner" of the attending nurse or physician is crucial.
 
One with good bedside manner comforts and encourages the patient, is sensitive to how the person is feeling, and because of this uses his or her vocal tones, body language and presence to calm the patient,  and let them know that they are there to help. The one with poor bedside manner ends up leaving the patient worried, concerned, and anxious.
 
Jesus was the ultimate physician
 
Jesus; who was of course the ultimate physician, had a tremendous bedside manner. He was always sensitive, concerned, and aware of not only the physical disease that the person was suffering with, but also of how vulnerable, afraid, and insecure that person would be feeling.
 
One of the most moving and touching stories in all of scripture provides us with an example of Jesus' incredible bedside manner. In Mark 7:31-35, as Jesus was making his way through town, He was presented with a man who was both deaf and mute. Read this short story, and look at Jesus' wonderful example of how to treat people when they are in their despair:
 
"Then Jesus left the vicinity of Tyre and went through Sidon, down to the Sea of Galilee and into the region of the Decapolis. There some people brought to him a man who was deaf and could hardly talk, and they begged him to place his hand on the man.  After he took him aside, away from the crowd, Jesus put his fingers into the man's ears. Then he spit and touched the man's tongue. He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, "Ephphatha!" (which means, "Be opened!"). At this, the man's ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly."
 
Not being one who has suffered such an infirmity, I did some minor research on what it is like to be deaf. I found a letter written by Ludwig Van Beethoven in October of 1808 to his brother Carl, as he poured out his heart on the different levels of emotional pain he suffered by being unable to hear. He used words like "Solitude," "misunderstood," "no relaxation in society," "entirely alone," "an outcast," "fear," "awkward," suspicious," embarrassed" and "confused.[i]"  These are just some of the feelings a deaf person lives with.  Likewise, then, was it with this man, that Jesus met that day.
 
And so what of Jesus' bedside manner with this man? The Lord did something quite beautiful; He took the hand of the man, lead him off to the side to be alone with him to heal him in private. No crowds, no chaos, no show. Here was a man who would have lived a life of being misunderstood, who could not relax in society, who felt entirely alone, an outcast, awkward, suspicious, embarrassed and confused. Jesus, in his caring way knew this, (and so as to not turn this healing into some kind of grandiose show where the feelings of insecurity would only be ampliphied), Jesus took him aside to be alone with him, to treat him in private. To Jesus this poor man was not a show, but a man, who had feelings and emotions, and who needed to be treated with both respect and sensitivity.[ii] Jesus wanted to calm his fears, and let him know that He was there to help and not harm.
 
Then, in a continuing fashion of heightened concern for this gentleman, Jesus put his fingers in the man's ears, spit and touched the man's tongue. The ancient world had a curious belief in the healing power of saliva.[iii] Jesus of course knew that spit had no healing properties, but because the deaf man believed that it did, the Lord, (in his gentle and thoughtful way) administered an ancient form of healing, so that the man knew that Jesus was there to heal him, and not harm him.
 
Time and time again throughout scripture, Jesus displayed his ability to be thoughtful and understanding to the frailties and vulnerabilities of the human psyche and soul.
 
Have you been a caring, or uncaring physician? The truth can hurt!
 
What does this have to do with helping homosexuals, or Christians who are same gender attracted? Everything.
 
Trust me when I say that living with homosexuality as your past, and sometimes even your present, is not at all easy in the church. It can be lonely, frustrating, and confusing.
 
Regardless of the tremendous victories I have had, (and the incredible ways that God has changed and blessed me), I have been often been filled with guilt, fear of rejection, fear of being laughed at, and gossiped about. I have lived every day feeling different than everyone else, like an outsider.
 
It's been bad enough to be the "butt end" of taunting and jokes in the world, but you can't imagine how deep the knife goes, when they come from my Christian brothers. I have heard countless jokes about homosexuals from men in our churches; not realizing who it was that was sitting right beside them while they spouted off their homophobic stories. I have spent years feeling like my sin is the only one that cannot be discussed, because I have felt like there is no safe place to go, there is no one who understands, and it is just too dangerous to really talk about what is going on inside.
 
Sadly, I have been in the presence of Christians who have laughed at the plight of others, used the words "gay," "homo," "queer," and "fag" when referring to other people, while everyone in the room had a tremendous laugh.  I have listened to Christians tell me that if they ever met a gay person, they would never be able to study the bible with them. I even had a Christian, and respected leader, tell me that all "homos should be taken out back and shot." I've had fathers tell me they would rather their son be a murderer than a homosexual. (sadly, I'm not making this stuff up.) And every time, slowly another piece of me would die inside, as it continued to be confirmed for me that "my church" was not a safe place, nor was it an "Ambassador of Jesus" when we talked like this.
 
And for those who knew of my situation, I witnessed how some (not all, but some) would hug to warmly greet every other man in the room, but when they got to me, would only hold out their hand, and sometimes not even that. 
 
And then there have been the insensitive comments when someone was trying to "help." Many well meaning Christians have given some of the most ridiculous, un-thoughtful and simplistic answers to same gender attracted Christians in their attempt to help: "Wear tighter pants," "date more girls," "play more sports," "look at heterosexual porn," "pray harder," and "have more faith."
 
As I mentioned earlier, when my dad sought help from the medical profession, and came into contact with someone with terrible bedside manner, somehow even the severe pain was worth putting up with, if only to not have to be put through the indignity of his caregivers not caring, or not acting like they care.
 
We need a culturre change 
 
Brothers and sisters, many of us need to repent and significantly improve on our "bedside manner." In fact, we need a culture change in our church in regards to how we think of this issue. There was a quality of Jesus that drew people to him, regardless of what they had done. He did not look down on people, He did not pull away, He did not reject or rebuff people, and He did not laugh or joke at the expense of others.
 
We need a "culture change" in Jesus' church when dealing with homosexuals (and probably a few other demographics as well.) It is not right to judge those outside of the church, because they are homosexual (1 Corinthians 5:12), (though many Christians seem to relish in doing so). Equally so, we must strive to not be insensitive, or to joke about those, in the church who live with same gender attractions. (Galatians 6:1, 1 Corinthians 13)
 
Same gender attracted Christians are heroes. They know that God's Biblical design for sexual intimacy is to be exclusively reserved between that of a man and woman bound together in marriage. It is for that very reason why these devoted disciples struggle and battle with their same gender attractions. They know that regardless of the fact that these emotions and attractions are very real, they go against what God wants for human sexuality. So they deny themselves everyday, (and sometimes every minute of everyday) and choose another path. They do not want to disobey God, so they "arrange their lives in such a manner that they can live faithfully to the understanding of God's call on their lives as persons created in the image of God." [iv] 
 
So when it comes to your brothers and sisters who come from a homosexual past, I ask: Should this kind of devotion not be applauded? Should these disciples of Jesus not be used as an example of what it means to deny oneself every day to follow Jesus, rather than joked about?
 
Like Beethoven who was deaf, same gender attracted Christians have spent most of their time living in solitude, feeling misunderstood, alone, awkward, embarrassed and confused. We need your help. We need you to be sensitive with your words and comments. We need you to not pull away. We need you to have Jesus type "bedside manners."
 
If one with good bedside manners comforts and encourages, is sensitive to how the person is feeling and because of this uses his or her vocal tones, body language and presence to calm the patient, and let them know that they are there to help; and the one with poor bedside manner ends up leaving the patient worried, concerned and anxious, then ask yourself: When dealing with a broken person needing some compassion, which one are you
 
By Guy Hammond

Guy is not only an Evangelist in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, he is also the founder and Executive Director of Strength in Weakness Ministries. Click Here to read Guy's Testimony.

 To book Guy to train your staff and church leadership, or to teach a workshop for your congregation; Click Here.
 
 
 

[i] Beethoven, Ludwig V. "Immortal Glory." A Beethoven Reader. Ed. F. V. Grunfeld. New York, NY: Columbia Masterworks, 1972. 13.
[ii] Barclay, William. The Gospel of Mark. 3rd ed. Edinburgh, Scotland: St. Andrew P, 1953. 182-83.
[iii] Ibid
[iv] Yarhouse, Mark A., and Lori A. Burkett. Sexual Identity : A Guide to Living in the Time Between the Times. New York: University P of America, Incorporated, 2003. 8.
 
 

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PO Box 20041, Orillia, Ontario L3V 7X9 Canada  (705) 259-3331

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Who Are We

We are a Christian organization that bridges the gap between the Christian community and the LGBTQ community through awareness, education and support.

Strength in Weakness Ministries is currently assisting Christians from hundreds of Christian congregations in countries on every continent the world over. As well, we are teaching Evangelists, Pastors, Church Leaders, Pastoral Care Workers and all Christians how to effectively counsel Christian men and women who are same gender attracted; parents, spouses and siblings how to deal with this challenge in their family relationships, and all Christ followers how to reach out to our gay neighbours for Christ through our workshops.

 

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  Canada
Strength in Weakness Ministries
Attention: Cathy Hammond
PO Box 20041
Orillia, ON L3V 7X9
705-259-3331
 

  United States
Strength in Weakness Ministries
Attention: Cathy Hammond
2220 Meridian Blvd. Suite W6063
Minden, Nevada 89243
705-259-3331

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